10 Mad Reasons For Not Buying A Property In Spain

Over the years we have had a load of excuses for not buying a Spanish Property. Some of them are fair enough, some of them are rather strange and some of them are on the cusp of a deranged mind working overtime. I really don't mind if somebody doesn't want to buy a property, as long as they are honest. After all I try to be honest in the descriptions, my opinions and the properties we offer. But please don't BS me. So here in no particular order are the top ten mad reasons for not going through with a purchase of a Spanish Property. Over the years we have heard all of them and no doubt we will hear more of them in time. Number one There is a pylon within view which could give me leukaemia. An American client once actually said this to me so I took out my telescope and peered into the distance and sure enough a couple of kilometres away behind a small hillock a pylon was peering out guiltily, carrying electricity to some poor unfortunate folks who are now undoubtedly struggling with their leukaemia ridden bodies. Number 2: The feng shui is all wrong. Yes the Feng shui, that eastern philosophy that roughly translated means "Ripping off westerners with jokes about chi flowing around the property and prosperity being reflected out of the front door by a badly placed mirror whilst charging you a few thousand Euros for the privilege of telling you this crap". That Feng Shui. Number 3: I am not sure I will make money on it when I come to sell in 20 years time. Honestly I am not quite sure what I am going to be doing next week, I am totally unsure about my movements next month and the dim and distant future of next year is a total puzzle worthy of the Mystery Machine and the Scooby Doo gang. I used to think that houses were for living in. This excuse, and yes, they DID say 20 years, finally convinced me that the World is mad and people do not see a house as a place for living in but merely as a rather large piggy bank which luckily, generally doesn't resemble a porker. Number 4: The chimney is the wrong colour. Well paint it dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry! The property had a feature chimney. You may have heard of a feature wall before, another total load of claptrap espoused on property programmes the world over. A feature chimney took this concept to a totally new level. But guess what, there is something called paint and it can cover up all sorts of previous sins. And it doesn't cost much either. Number 5: It is too cheap there must be something wrong with it.       Yep! Me too! [caption id="attachment_4014" align="aligncenter" width="640"]10 Maddest Reasons For Not Buying Spanish Property 10 Maddest Reasons For Not Buying Spanish Property (It's cloudy is not one of the top ten)[/caption] Number 6: "The walls are not right". "Pardon me" "The walls are not right" "In what way exactly?" "They are just not right!" "What in a Poltergeist type way, a Jamiroquai way or what? "Pardon me?" Number 7: I don't think my cats will like it. Yes, someone actually said this to me. Cats apparently have opinions on interior design, room sizes and undoubtedly the incredibly complicated issues of Feng Shui. Number 8: It's got a bidet and I don't think I need one of those. So get rid of it then or at least use it in the same way everybody else does, to put their umbrellas in. The fact that a house has a bidet, a beige coloured couch or some really iffy Feng Shui is really neither here nor there. Lose it. Number 9: I won't have anywhere to put my fridge. I am not going to suggest that to anyone that they get rid of their pride and joy and dump their fridge of course.... oh wait, yes I am. Just because your fridge is one of those American type ones with a drinks dispenser, ice maker and double doors that looks like something from a NASA mission or gives you access to a new world as in "The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe" doesn't mean you should be keeping it. In Spain you should be buying fresh produce daily and keeping your fridge more empty. It reduces food waste you know. Number 10: I'm okay without a lift but I don't want to walk up any stairs. I have heard that levitation is all the rage these days. It's a mind over matter thing. You just stand there and you will eventually get to your destination if you really want it hard enough. Next time I will just take those clients to a place with a ramp up and a slide down. Much more practical. So there you go the 10 maddest reasons that have been given to me over the years for not buying a property. None of this, it's too small, in the wrong area, don't like the view, it's horrible, don't make me laugh, you are kidding right, why are you showing me this? A totally different order of madness.
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