The Big Differences When Living in Spain

I have been noticing a trend online recently especially on Threads, where it seems engagement trolling is key, that people start a thread with "I have been doing x for six months now and here is what I learnt..."

You are now drawn in and you click through to all of their relatively mundane observations taken from their own personal experience and applying those observations to the whole more Universal experience. So today I thought we'd do the same but from the point of view of our clients, real people who know things. What have they discovered to be the biggest changes from "back home" when coming to live in Spain?

*By the way we have a few words for you to learn in this article. If you don't know what they mean look them up. They are important here in Valencia.

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Preconceptions

They tend to go out of the window. Everything you may expect Spain to be is different. It may only be a slight difference or it may be that you think you'll be seeing everyone walking round in red and white polka dot dresses and dancing to Flamenco and you get a rather rude awakening when the only music you hear blaring out is the dreaded Reggaeton out of a 20 year old's car window. Whatever you think it's going to be it isn't. How might this be then? Read on...

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Slow

Spain is slow, slower than where you came from probably unless your previous life experience was just gently floating down the Mississippi on a boat. Meals take longer, the waiter doesn't come over straight away at a restaurant and doesn't rush you out when you've finished because that would just ruin the "Sobremesa*". You need a morning to organise a couple of pieces of paper and get them to the right places and you will be queueing without actually queueing in places with a few glances and grunts to know who is in front of you in that queue.

The pace of life in Spain will be slower and because of that the following will be more difficult.

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Getting Things Done

To start with it will be like pulling teeth. Things that in your home country you knew how to do in a few minutes will require hours to sort out. And that's ok. Eventually you'll find out how to reduce that time by half or more but it will never be a few minutes, things just aren't organised in that way. They're organised just not in the way that you might think or even like or expect. This papeleo* means the struggle is real.

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Understanding Mañana and What It Means

This is why getting things done is not easy. Things can almost always wait until mañana* and, as we all know, mañana never comes. If something is truly urgent then it might almost definitely but not certainly get done mañana (Meaning tomorrow) as opposed to mañana (Some indistinct time in the future) Understanding the difference between these two concepts of mañana is key to understanding what people are telling you in Spain.

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Work Culture

People work to live as opposed to living to work. Work doesn't define people. We don't like meetings here, we don't have key performance indicators, we don't have targets that must be met, deliverables.. nah. We don't have annual reviews and monthly meetings to discuss the direction of our careers. We don't look to work harder and longer to impress the boss because we know it makes no difference at all, as all the boss wants to do is have an easy life. We don't have pointless brain numbing brainstorming meetings or blue sky thinking outside the box. We don't navel gaze about work. People generally go into work, do what they're supposed to do and then go home or go out to meet friends. If people don't like their job then they'll look for another one while still working and then quietly quit.

Now, all of the above is not always true and the creeping Americanisation of work culture, hustle and measuring everything cannot be ignored but... Spain is different and wants to remain different. There is resistance just like there is resistance to American cultural hegemony. We don't like Starbucks in general, fast food has unfortunately taken hold but we still prefer a two hour lunch with chatting and alcohol to a five minute McMeal.

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Relaxation

Weekends are for relaxing and doing stuff. Evenings are for doing stuff with the family. We even have a law banning companies from contacting their employees outside of office hours if they don't want to be contacted. Now, many of us never switch off from work because work is a business that we run. But if I am on minimum wage in a shop or cafe then when I'm outside the workplace I'm relaxing and not thinking about work.

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Mornings Are Key

If you need something doing you do it in that extremely important period between 10-2 in the morning.

However, and here's the difficult bit, don't go at 11 as the person you need to see will probably be off having Almuerzo* and won't be back for ten minutes (45 minutes) and don't go at 12 because there'll be a huge queue of all of those people who were waiting for them to get back from their Almuerzo. And don't go at 10 because you'll be at the back of that queue of people who know you only get attention at 10 and you need to get in before almuerzo. And don't go at 1 because what you need doing might take more than half an hour and today they may be leaving at 1.30 due to an "Appointment" somewhere. And don't go at 1.45 because they have probably already gone and if they haven't then they will make person currently being seen last right up until 2pm (but no longer) and then of course they leave.

So yeah, you make sure to get things done in the morning but it requires precision planning to get the right time because they won't be open in the afternoon to the public.

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Attitude

Your attitude changes when you start living in Spain and things that previously seemed important to you no longer seem to matter. For our American friends for example the Orange One's meltdowns and madness are not so existential as you are no longer directly affected. Outside the putrid petri dish of American politics you get to see that same American Politics for what it really is, a highly dangerous entertainment, but at least you are out of it.

Attitudes to everything else will change too, You'll realise that food can actually taste of... well food rather than additives, you won't be so worried about what the neighbours are doing or decorating their gardens with because you won't be able to see it, we have walls not picket fences. You won't really care about keeping up with the Joneses because you'll realise it's a pointless race you can never win nor lose and the neighbours aren't called Jones anyway. Your attitude changes to become more forgiving, more laissez-faire and more... shrugging... because you realise we are all just getting by and trying to enjoy it.

Or rather it should because if it doesn't then you'll soon start to realise that you don't fit in as well as you thought you would.

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Drink

Last week an American on Facebook asked why Spanish people never drink having been shocked by this on visiting Barcelona. How do you all stay hydrated? he wondered aloud. Well, one thing that we never drink in Spain is the Kool Aid, and his particular Kool Aid was the lie that you should be sipping from your own personal water bottle every five seconds because otherwise you'll soon be dehydrated and die in the street because of the heat. You bought the lie mate!

The truth is if we need a drink we either go into the local greasy spoon cafe and get a coffee, a beer or an agua con gas because we don't get ripped off by the local bar owner (Scrub this if you live in the central tourist areas) or we go to our kitchen and drink from the tap because we can.

And talking of drink the Spanish relationship with alcohol...

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Alcohol

Don't be surprised to see people drinking alcohol at all times. It's not an alcohol problem though as people don't drink much in total. Wine with meals is common as is beer of course. Coffees with coñac or baileys are often seen, early cold mornings in Madrid markets will see Sol y Sombra* (Maybe) Beer will refresh in the afternoon, gintonics are common in the afterwork (And they are goldfish bowls) and in the evening bottles of wine, stronger spirits or more beer is common. Importantly, it's not frowned upon and rarely abused. Kids start drinking with their families relatively young but lots of kids these days are not partaking or they are doing Botellones* in car parks with friends. A change is gonna come.

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Meals During a Day

Getting used to the timings of meals in Spain takes some doing and getting used to the quantities may also be an issue for some. Lunch is never a sandwich eaten at a desk. Lunch is the main meal of the day for many and will often be three courses if eaten out at a place for the Menu del Día*. However... it's not true everywhere or for everyone. Many Valencians Almuerzan with a huge Bocadillo* and therefore they cannot be doing with a big meal at midday aswell.

Breakfast may be at 9am, almuerzo at 11, lunch at 2, dinner at 9 or later (Remember that many people work until 8 in shops and offices and therefore eat even later as they still have to go to Mercadona and cook before sitting down to eat with the family around 10pm) And don't forget Merienda* around 4-5pm especially if you have kids coming out of school at that time.

That late evening meal, not being able to book a table at a restaurant at 7pm because the kitchen doesn't open until 8.30 or later, takes a bit of getting used to. It's not unusual to make an appointment for your evening meal at a restaurant for 11pm in Valencia and that is a huge difference.

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Family and Friends Focus

As stated before you are not defined by what you do here and much socialising has nothing to do with the people you just happen to work with. Family first and friends a very close second. This is the focus of most people. And making sure you are doing something with the family and your friends consumes much of the time people have out of work and out of home.

This may be one place where you may struggle in Spain to begin with because you may not have that extended family unit around you and your friend group may not have built up to the levels required to fill up your spare time, especially if you just happen to have a lot of spare time.

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Safety

It takes time to get used to feeling safe. At least that's what our American clients tell us when they have been here for some time. That feeling that you don't need to keep looking round, to be on alert, to look over your shoulder, to worry who it is that is coming in the opposite direction on your sidewalk, that search in a mall for an emergency exit just in case there's an active shooter in the vicinity... all of those things seem to fade away once you have been here for a time, but it takes time. And that "not being on edge" all the time feeling is one of the great gifts of Spain. It's just so safe comparatively and people who move here feel it viscerally after a time and their attitude changes, their guard comes down and they realise what they were putting up with "back home".

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Religion

Spain is a Catholic country right? Well sort of... I mean they still do the things that define it as a Catholic country, the fiestas where a huge statue of the Madonna gets carried around, big churches, the KKK-like parades, deference to the local priest and the like, but let's face it, when surveyed, the majority of Spaniards are not "Practicing Catholics" and declare themselves atheist or agnostic at best (they have Catholicism and that sense of ingrained guilt sorted so they don't practice any more).

Spain is one of the least actively religious countries in Europe and therefore religion isn't in your face all the time. It's there in the background but it's not a part of people's identity. We don't do Evangelical Superchurches with grifting preachers and Maga supporting wingnuts and we don't do religious fundementalism (We tried that various times in Spain and it never went well) So if you expect to be surrounded by overt Catholicism you're in the wrong place. Post Franco's death enough Spaniards said let's just forget that BS and went in a different direction.

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Comments

We have been asking for what you would add to people already here and we got this excellent point. Yeah, healthcare is so so different.

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Summing Up

There's so much more of course it's not for Nothing that the Franco era slogan of "Spain is Different" is still heard everywhere today and is used as a catch all excuse for when something doesn't work by the Spanish themselves. You can read more about the Spain is Different slogan here in one of our previous posts.

All we can say here is that you should have expectations of Spain and more often than not Spain will live up to those expectations and more in spades. But what it won't do is exactly match your expectations. You can't know everything about the country before coming here however much internet research (sic) you have done.

"Allow Spain to surprise you, allow it to delight you and every now and again allow it to disappoint you"

It's all part of the learning experience, learning to live the good life in one of the best places in the world to live, Spain. And if you should choose Valencia to be that place in Spain then let us know what you are looking for in the form below and we will help you live that good life.